A Heart Both Tattered And Torn©

Copyright© 2012, 2017

By Felina Silver Robinson

What happens to a love that you have had for so long and all of a sudden your love finds you sad and crying?  He wants to comfort you, but you can’t accept his comfort. You start to not trust what you thought you always knew, what you always thought was right? You find yourself believing that the love from your other is no more, which he wanders elsewhere wishing for another love, that he no longer loves you as you thought.  When his time becomes his own, he no longer yearns to spend every waking moment with you.  He masks what he does when he walks out the door.  He tells you stories hoping you won’t ask questions and you will believe all that rolls off of his tongue. The time he spends elsewhere you know is not spent the way he tells you.  You wonder if someone else pleases him in the way he doesn’t allow you too.  It pulls at your heart-strings, it makes you feel empty inside.  When it’s time for dinner he cannot eat.  He finds somewhere to go after dinner and returns home fulfilled, but you know it wasn’t because of you.  What’s your heart to think?

The days are filled with him angry at the sounds of your children, he questions their every move, and there is no fun to be had, no natural movement or steps allowed. He polices every move.  What time do we live in? Are we not free?

The children fight their demons, they try to find their own happiness, and they make their own fun. Never perfect, but they wear no frown.  They tell you that they love you and that you are their best friend.  Your heart warms and you yearn no more.  You’ve found happiness in their innocence.  For the moment nothing else matters, but this moment in time.  You hope that this time will last forever, but you know it can’t.  Once the morning shines in all the doubt will return again.