Countless times I closed my eyes and I knew when they next opened you would be at my side, holding me ever so tightly. But today I opened my eyes and there you lay, cold and lifeless. Normally, full of life, you would be wrestling around in the kitchen, making breakfast, packing lunches, pouring coffee, starting everyone’s day off with a smile a mile long and your joke of the day or inspirational offering. Instead, the house was still as if empty or abandoned. The kids still fast asleep as was the family dog at the foot of their bed with his paws criss crossed over his eyes. Life as we knew it, would never be the same again. The shadow from the sirens lights bounce off our bedroom wall as another reminder of just how you left me. In that split second I realized that very moment was our true last goodbye, not the ceremonial goodbye at the church after all those who loved you bid you their farewell. Another river of tears are upon me. I suddenly become weak in the knees and collapse to the floor. I know now, that there will be many more days like these and find myself wishing for an escape from the pain I know is forthcoming for time to come. No bottle of Jack Daniels, no 10 mile run, or marathon painting session will erase that fact. Now, I’ll find a way to somehow pull it together for the sake of our innocent children who are young enough not to feel the pain that I will surely never let go of. They will miss the shadow of you, in trace memories as time goes on. But my heart will forever mourn you.
Trace Memories of You©
By Felina Silver Robinson