In the corner of my room in my favorite chair or at my desk in front of my computer, I find myself lost in a sea of memories I don’t wish to face. Maybe, just maybe I can’t face them. I know what opening up old wounds can do. It costs me a small piece of my soul every time. I’ve been warned to let the past be, but sometimes the grief overcomes me. The ability to fight seems close to impossible. So I sit, sometimes, rocking back and forth to comfort me. I’m tortured with every flash of every memory tying me to a past I just soon forget. The echoes of my own cries haunt me every night as I try to force my eyes to stay shut. Memories have a way of controlling all I do, what I say or what I don’t say. It’s hard to get close to others fearing their judgement of me. I fear they may see through me and wonder if they know the source of my pain, will they learn the secrets I’m not willing to share? In the corner of my room, in my favorite chair or at my desk in front of my computer, I find myself lost in a sea of memories I don’t wish to face. Fear demands my attention, it steals my tranquility, for it knows my weaknesses.
Sitting in Silence©
By Felina Silver Robinson